Keeper of the Secrets
by Vol lady
Summary: This story begins at the end of The Court Martial (in 1877), then continues past The Secret (1879). A big change - perhaps long overdue - comes to the life of the Barkleys.
1. Chapter 1

Keeper of the Secrets

Chapter 1

Spring, 1877

Nick's hand still hurt from slugging his brother. He forced himself to listen to Jarrod's explanation, and then he slugged him again and just walked away, back into the house, where his mother and sister now stood in the foyer, with Curtis still standing guard.

"Nick!" Victoria said, totally baffled at Nick coming back in, unbound. "I don't understand. What happened?"

Nick leveled a hard, angry glare at her. "Ask Jarrod," he said and stormed upstairs to his room.

Victoria and Audra just looked at each other, relieved but stunned and confused.

Outside, Heath left everyone and followed Nick into the house. Jarrod picked himself up off the ground again and found a steadying hand in Macklin.

"Jarrod, I'm very sorry about this," Macklin said.

Jarrod shook his head. "It's all right. You take care of getting Alderson out of here. I'll take care of my family."

"If there had been any other way – "

Jarrod nodded. "I know."

Heath made his way into the house first and was immediately surrounded by Victoria and Audra. His wounds needed to be tended to, but Curtis still had them covered.

Jarrod came in right behind him. He was now nursing a bleeding split lip and a red welt beside his left eye. Breathing heavily, he looked briefly at his mother and sister, who were looking more alarmed every minute. Jarrod spoke to Curtis directly. "It's over," he said. "Go on outside and help with Alderson."

Curtis went out, leaving the Barkleys alone.

"Jarrod, what's going on?" Audra asked, watching with astonishment as Curtis did exactly what Jarrod told him to do.

Victoria asked, "They didn't hang Alderson, did they?"

Jarrod shook his head. "No," he said, and went on by to the kitchen to get some ice for his lip and eye.

Heath stayed with Victoria and Audra. Victoria immediately steered him into the living room and sat him down on the settee, while Audra went for the first aid supplies.

They were kept in the kitchen. She found Jarrod taking some broken ice from the ice box, putting it into a towel and holding it to the entire left side of his face. "Jarrod, what happened?" Audra asked, so astonished her mouth would not close.

Jarrod shook his head and just said, "You'd better see to Heath."

He was not going to talk. Audra took the first aid supplies back into the living room.

"What is going on?" Victoria asked as Heath eased himself out of his shirt.

Heath did not know how to tell her, but he knew he had to. "Where's Nick?" he asked.

"Upstairs," Victoria said. "Heath, what is this all about?"

Heath sighed. "A trick. Those men were federal agents, not ex-Confederates. They were sent to get Alderson to confess that he ordered the slaughter at Mayville and that he was involved in planning Lincoln's murder."

"What?!"

Heath nodded. "They didn't hang him. They were never gonna hang anybody. They're taking him back to Washington."

Victoria's stomach turned over. "But Jarrod – what happened to Jarrod?"

"Nick hit him, twice," Heath said.

Audra arrived with the first aid supplies then. "Mother, Jarrod's bleeding in the kitchen – "

"Better let him bleed a while," Heath said.

"Why?" Victoria asked as she reached for some alcohol from Audra. "What does Jarrod have to do with this?"

"Everything," Heath said. His arm hurt and the small cuts from the broken glass were beginning to feel like chasms, especially when his mother dabbed them with alcohol. "Jarrod was in on it from the beginning."

Victoria stopped. "What?"

Heath looked up at her and then away. "He was part of the whole plan from the beginning, him and those federal agents. Nick is madder than a wet hen at him. That's why he slugged him, and when Jarrod got up and tried to explain, Nick hit him again."

"I can't believe – " Victoria almost whispered. "Jarrod – LET this happen to Nick? To us?"

"Yeah, he let it happen," Heath said. "He feels like dirt about it, but he let it all happen. Never even ducked or fought back or anything when Nick hit him. Just took it."

"Oh, dear God," Victoria said, so weak suddenly that she had to sit down.

Audra took over caring for Heath's injuries.

Victoria looked upstairs, then back toward the kitchen, totally confused. She did not know which son to go to first, but then she knew, she had to go to Nick first. He would be feeling betrayed and angry, and she'd have to calm him down somehow. She looked toward the kitchen again, and she was angry with Jarrod herself. How could he have been behind everything that happened to them tonight? How could he possibly have done it?

"I'm going to go talk to Nick," she said.

"I'll take care of Heath," Audra said.

Victoria went upstairs, but not very quickly. She looked like she was almost too stunned to move.

Heath sighed and closed his eyes. "I don't know how we're gonna sort this one out, Sis."

"Let's just see to you first," Audra said. "We'll sort it all out later."

Victoria knocked at Nick's door, and when she did not get an answer, she knocked again. He tore it open, looking as angry as she'd ever seen him, and looking like he was expecting her to be someone else. "Come in, Mother," he said quietly and let her in.

She came in, and he closed the door behind her. "Are you all right?" she asked.

"Did Jarrod explain himself to you?" Nick asked. He had a cloth wrapped around the knuckles of his right hand.

"No, I haven't spoken to him," Victoria said, "but Heath explained. Nick, I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything," Nick said. "You're as much the victim in this as I am, you and Audra and Heath, all of us. He did this to all of us."

"I think we need to hear Jarrod out before we crucify him."

"What's to hear? What could possibly excuse what he put this family through tonight?"

"Obviously, Jarrod feels that seeing justice done for the town of Mayville and for Abraham Lincoln justified whatever his part in all this was. I know you feel betrayed – "

"Betrayed doesn't cover it. He's my brother! I thought I knew him, but if he could do this to us – the man I thought I knew wouldn't do this to us, not for Mayville or Abraham Lincoln or anybody else."

"All right. And maybe General Alderson betrayed you, too."

"Alderson," Nick said and shook his head. He did not want to think about Alderson and what he'd done yet. Thinking about it sent a pang on guilt through Nick that he didn't understand and right now, he didn't want to. "Forget him and how I feel to find out he did what he did. What matters here is what Jarrod did, to us, to the family. I can't even look at him without wanting to – " Nick seethed and almost began to shake.

"Hit him," Victoria said. "Well, you did that. He's in the kitchen nursing himself."

"Don't ask me to go talk to him. I won't do it."

"I wasn't going to ask you to. I'm only asking you to calm down, get some rest, and sleep on everything. He's still your brother."

Nick stared hard at his mother. "You and Audra were nearly burned in a fire that could have taken this whole house down. YOU get some rest and sleep on it, Mother, and tell me you can forgive him for what he's done."

Victoria hung her head, and then nodded. "You're right. I don't know how I feel about all this, either. And I might just slap him across the face the moment I see him, but – I'm at least willing to hear what he has to say."

"You know what he'll say, don't you? What he said to me – he's sorry. He's 'sorry'."

Nick waved his hand in empty air and turned away, heading for the wardrobe and taking off his jacket. Victoria got the message and quietly left.

She went downstairs. Audra was still helping Heath in the living room. They both looked up at her, wondering if she was going to go into the kitchen to Jarrod. She hesitated at the bottom of the stairs and looked at her hurt children. She really didn't know if she wanted to go to Jarrod or not.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Victoria gave it very long thought, but she decided she needed to go to Jarrod, to let him know that he was not alone tonight, at least. She had no idea what she was going to say to him, but she needed at least to let him say some things to her.

She went into the kitchen and found Jarrod sitting with his eyes closed while he held the ice to his face. He looked up when he heard her come in. He immediately closed his eyes again.

Victoria came closer to him, taking hold of his free hand.

"No, Mother, don't do that," he said and took his hand away. "I need your punishment, not your sympathy."

She half expected he would say something like that. "I'd rather have all the evidence in before I decide if you need punishment." She took the towel with the ice away from him. "Let me look at that." She took a critical look at his face.

"It's not so bad," Jarrod said with a smile his face couldn't pull off. "Nick's hit me a lot harder than this before."

"He feels completely betrayed, Jarrod," she said, holding the towel against his face herself. "By Alderson, by you. A lot of what he thought was true was turned upside down tonight."

"And I'm responsible for all of it," Jarrod said, taking the towel from her. "Let him be angry with me for a while. The longer he's angry with me, the less he'll be angry with himself."

"With himself? What does he have to be angry with himself about?"

Jarrod looked at her. "Nick is a man of conscience, Mother. He just found out the slaughter of a whole town happened right under his nose. Forget that he couldn't have known about it so he couldn't have stopped it. Nick won't be thinking about that. He'll just be feeling angry and guilty. Let him be angry with me. Maybe some of the guilt will work itself out if he can aim his anger at me."

Victoria took Jarrod's hand again, but again, he pulled away. "And what about your conscience?" Victoria asked.

"I deserve whatever my conscience is doing to me. I'm responsible for what happened to Nick and to Heath, and to you and Audra."

"Before you convict yourself, I think you'd better get some rest so you can defend yourself better tomorrow than you have so far tonight. You're going to have a beautiful black eye to go with that swollen lip."

"Well, Nick may add a few other adornments the next time I see him. Not to mention Heath, and even Audra – and you?"

She smiled. "I'd have hit you by now if I was going to. But I do want an explanation, Jarrod. Not tonight. Tomorrow. You have a lot to explain, and you'd better spend some time composing your argument."

"I know. 'I'm sorry' isn't good enough."

"No, it definitely isn't."

Jarrod got up from the stool he was sitting on and took the wet towel to the sink. He began to wash it out.

But Victoria followed and took it from him, saying, "I'll take care of it."

Jarrod was surprised how stiff and sore he was all over, but then his body had been tensed up all night, even though no one knew it. He'd been tense when he let Nick hit him. Letting it all go now made him hurt all over. He wasn't sure he could ever explain to his family what this night had done to him, or that he even wanted to. He had held onto a deep secret, and he had watched the people he loved suffer because of it. They had endured far worse than he had. What he was suffering tonight was unimportant. He'd keep it a secret forever.

He gave his mother a kiss on the top of her head and started up the back stairs to his room.

"Jarrod – " Victoria said as he began to climb.

He stopped. "Yes?"

"Nothing like this can ever happen again."

Oh, that stung. Jarrod wished she had slapped him instead. He didn't know what to say, so he ended up just saying, "Yes," and he went upstairs to his room.

XXXXXXXXX

Jarrod left early the next morning, without seeing anyone, and spent the day in his office in town. Everyone he saw stared hard at his split lip and black eye, but he could tell that those who knew him well just chalked it up to another Barkley family argument. He didn't explain anything to anyone.

He fretted all day over how he was going to explain things to his family, but it came down to just telling the truth and letting them decide what was to come next.

He came home when they gathered for drinks before dinner. All eyes watched as Jarrod wordlessly came into the living room and poured himself a scotch. Then he turned to face them, black eye and split lip on display, and spoke.

"Agent Macklin came to me a month ago, told me what we all now know, that Alderson was responsible for the slaughter at Mayville and for conspiring to kill Abraham Lincoln, but they couldn't prove it. I didn't believe him at first, but he had enough hearsay and circumstantial evidence that I began to believe. He told me what he wanted me to do, and at first I balked, I couldn't do it, but then he showed me a letter he was carrying from the head of the Secret Service. It convinced me. Nick, Heath, we planned it for the time you would be away on the drive but when you came back early it made everything more complicated and prolonged. The agents had orders to abort the scheme if anyone was endangered. The fire happened and was over so fast, and Heath, your rescue attempt was over so fast, we just kept going until we got what we needed from Alderson.

"When I think about it now, I don't know if I would have done the same thing. You all suffered terribly and it – killed me to keep everything from you, but I had no choice. I kept hearing the screams of the people who were murdered at Mayville. I kept seeing President Lincoln – the man who saved our country and a man I loved and admired more than any man I ever met – "

Jarrod swallowed. "Well, I did what I did, and while I'm not ashamed of it, I am so very sorry you all had to suffer so much because of me. The government had been trying to get Alderson for years, and seeing him brought to justice was something I just had to do."

He stopped there. They all waited to see what Victoria was going to do. Jarrod's eyes were on her, but he drank his scotch in one swallow and stared down at the floor when she did not move. It took long moments before she got up, approached him, and kissed him on the good cheek.

Nick walked out, toward the library.

Jarrod gave it a moment of thought, but only a moment, before he said, "Let me handle this – and don't try to break it up if it starts to sound like the house is coming down." He left his glass at the refreshment table and went after Nick.

Jarrod found him in the library. Nick was into the whiskey there. Jarrod wasn't sure how to approach him. Further explaining probably wouldn't do any good. It was Nick's time to do the talking, but how to get him to start?

Jarrod closed the library doors behind him and said, "That won't drown your guilt."

Nick spun around with fire in his eyes. "MY guilt?! You think this is about ME? You put the family through a night of hell, and you think this is about ME?!"

Nick came over to him and decked him again, and Jarrod let him. Crashing against the closed doors, Jarrod slid down and landed sitting up on the floor. His lip was reopened and bleeding.

Jarrod just sat there, blotting the blood. "Yeah, your guilt. I know how you feel."

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yes, I do. Last night you found out an entire town and the President of the United States were murdered on your watch, and I was the one who told you. I told you, and I made you believe you would hang for it, and I was responsible for Heath getting hurt and Mother and Audra nearly being killed. Hell, if you had done all that to me and the people I love, I'd take one of those rifles off the rack and blow your brains out."

Nick looked down at him. The words were blunt, and spot on. They summed up almost exactly how Nick felt. "Why did you do it?"

"For justice – for the people of Mayville, for President Lincoln – even for you."

Nick grabbed him by the shirt front and threw him back down to the floor, against the doors. "Don't you dare turn this into justice for me!"

"All right, then, just for Mayville and Lincoln. Nick, what would you have done? If government agents had come to you and told you we know this man slaughtered a town and helped plan the murder of Abraham Lincoln – are you gonna tell me you'd have done any differently?"

"They DIDN'T come to me," Nick said. "And neither did you."

"You weren't supposed to be here. You weren't supposed to be involved."

"Forget me. What about Mother and Audra?"

"Those men had orders that they were to call a halt to it if Mother and Audra were endangered in any way."

Nick leaned down into Jarrod's face. "But they didn't, did they?"

"It was over too fast. When Heath tried to rescue you, it was over too fast. It happened the way it happened, Nick, and I'd sell my soul if I could have handled it better, but I couldn't. This was all my fault, and I accept the responsibility for it, so lift me up and hit me again if it'll help you feel better. You had no part in any of this – not back then, not last night. Alderson betrayed you, and I betrayed you. He's not here for you to slug, so slug me, all you want."

Nick glared hard, and he pulled Jarrod up by his shirt front again. But then he let up. Jarrod was able to stand, but he leaned back against the doors for support when Nick let him go.

"You're right," Nick said, more quietly. "Mayville happened on my watch."

"You couldn't have stopped it, Nick," Jarrod said, still blotting the blood from his lip. "Alderson betrayed you as much as he betrayed Mayville and the entire country. I had to bring him to justice if I could. I couldn't turn those agents down when they came to me. What would you have done?"

Nick sighed. "Probably the same thing – except I might have gone and hung Alderson."

"Nick, I am sorry about all of it. I truly am. But I couldn't refuse to help them get justice for Mayville, and for Lincoln, and for you."

Nick sighed again. "All right, Jarrod. All right. I understand – and I don't know, maybe I ought to even thank you. But you can never do anything like this again, you got me?"

Nick poked his finger at Jarrod's face for emphasis. Jarrod heard his mother's words from the night before in Nick's words. He nodded, and as he said to his mother, he just said, "Yes."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Autumn, 1879

Jarrod knew, from the moment that Adam Howard and his wife Marcy and son Davy moved into the Stockton area, that he was going to break his word to his family. He was going to keep a secret from them that would hurt them. He hoped that he could get things under control, but they spiraled out of control too fast, because of the kind of man Adam Howard was, because of what he suspected, because of what he feared.

And Jarrod could not tell anything to his family. Marcy Howard was his client. He had taken an oath. Her secrets had to be his, until she released him. And she was too afraid of losing Adam to release him.

Howard was proud, self-made, ruthless when he felt threatened, and he felt threatened now, by Jarrod, by Jarrod's secret meetings with his wife that his private detective had documented. Jarrod knew that Howard's rage had been uncorked, and that it was ruining his life with his wife and his son. Jarrod knew a lot of it was directed at him personally, because he believed Jarrod was having an affair with his wife. And Howard thought that Davy was Jarrod's son, not his.

Jarrod also wasn't surprised that Adam would go after the entire Barkley family just to exact his revenge on Jarrod, and he did. In every way that he could, he sought to ruin the Barkley Ranch and the Barkleys personally, and it was working.

The breaking point for everyone came when Howard dammed up the creek on his property that Nick and Heath depended on to water the cattle. With no water, the herd was dying of thirst. The situation was getting critical and his family was getting angrier by the minute.

Jarrod knew his family suspected everything that was happening had something to do with him, and they suspected he was keeping secrets yet again despite everything that had happened with General Alderson. There had been other times over the years he had kept his secrets, too, but this was the worst. He knew that any trust he had rebuilt with them since Alderson was rapidly evaporating now.

He saw it in Nick's eyes that were furious every time Nick looked at him. Nick didn't know why, but he knew the ranch and the family were threatened because of Jarrod. Jarrod expected to see Nick's fists flying at him at any moment.

But it was Victoria who confronted him.

"I spoke with Adam today, very briefly. He said something – odd. He said to ask you about his wife – and the Seventh Commandment."

Her eyes bore into him. He didn't know what to say. Marcy Howard was not his lover, but she was his client, and he could not give his mother the answers she wanted. He said, "Mother, I have never had an affair with Marcy Howard."

She wouldn't let it rest there. "Then what is it that makes Adam think so?"

Jarrod hesitated, ached trying to decide what he could say and not say. He sat down beside her on the sofa, rubbing his thighs nervously. "All right. Adam found out that I had met with Marcy – met with her several times." He knew he had to stop there.

And she still would not let it rest. "These meetings – why, Jarrod?"

He looked at her. "I can't tell you that. You'll just have to trust me." Inside, he berated himself. Adam is destroying all of us but I'm going to keep this secret even if he drives us into the ground, and you'll all just have to trust me that he's wrong and I'm not having an affair with his wife. How could he ever expect them to understand and support him in this?

That was where Victoria let it rest. "All right, Jarrod, all right" she said and rubbed his hand, and then said, "You must be hungry. I'll have Silas fix you some sandwiches." And she got up and walked away even as she was saying it.

She didn't trust him. For the first time in his life, Jarrod saw only distrust in her eyes. He saw it in every word she said and in every movement she made. He was doing it again. His secret was hurting the family. This time, it could cost them everything, and it could cost him his family forever, but he had to keep the secret.

He had even less choice now than he had when he helped the federal agents break General Alderson, because of his oath as Marcy's lawyer. It was killing him inside, and he couldn't even tell them that.

Jarrod shook his head. There had to be a way out of this. There had to be something he could do to get Adam Howard to stop what he was doing. He had to get Marcy to tell Howard everything and pray he would believe her.

But other things happened first. Nick tried to take things into his own hands and went to see Howard himself. He was beaten up for his efforts and delivered back to the ranch unconscious.

Jarrod found out when he rode into the stable yard and found Nick reviving himself at the pump, pouring water over his head while Heath saddled his own horse. Nick intended to move the herd through the fence Howard had erected on his property line, and move them directly to the creek Howard had dammed up, even if Howard stood in the way with every gun he had.

Jarrod arrived and tried to stop him, but Nick just kept yelling, "We tried it your way, Jarrod, and it did not work!" His eyes and his voice were full of accusation. Nick knew this was somehow all Jarrod's fault, and he wasn't fixing it.

"What you're planning to do is wrong, Nick! Dead wrong! If you think I'm gonna let that hard head of yours get you killed, you got another think coming!" Jarrod yelled right back, and he went for Nick's horse, to keep him from riding off.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, Jarrod," Nick said and got between Jarrod and the horse, and immediately slugged his brother.

Jarrod crashed to the ground, in almost exactly the same spot where he'd fallen almost two years earlier when Nick slugged him with the federal agents and Alderson looking on. This time, Jarrod did not get up, knocked unconscious.

"Sorry, Big Brother," Nick said to the crumpled form on the ground.

Heath saw it all but until now stayed out of it. Now he just said, "I'll get Silas to look after him and meet you on the North Ridge."

Nick mounted and rode off.

Heath took a moment to bend down next to his older brother. Jarrod did not even move. Heath sighed and muttered, "You and your secrets, Jarrod. One of these days they're gonna be the death of you."

Jarrod woke up a few minutes later. Silas was beside him but Nick and Heath were gone. Jarrod got up as soon as he was able and saw that his horse, Jingo, was still waiting patiently where he'd left him before Nick decked him. Even Jingo seemed to be looking at him as if he didn't understand any of this, but he knew it was Jarrod's fault.

Marcy Howard came riding in as Jarrod headed for Jingo. "Jarrod! Thank God, you're all right."

"I'm fine," Jarrod said. "What's happened?"

"I told him, Jarrod. I told Adam everything and he didn't believe me. He left and he took a rifle with him."

Jarrod sighed. "He didn't believe you?"

"Not a word."

Jarrod checked to see that his sidearm was loaded. "Well, Marcy, it looks like the time for truth and understanding is over," he said and mounted up.

"And now it's the time for guns?!" Marcy cried.

"Tell me some way to stop it," Jarrod said, and rode off toward the North Ridge, with Marcy crying after him.

When he got there, the fat had already hit the fire. Nick and Heath were slowly riding toward Adam Howard's men, who had barricaded the wire fence on his property line. Jarrod rode up next to his brothers, and Adam Howard rode up behind his barricade.

Nick said, "If you came here to stop us, Jarrod, you're on the wrong side of the fence."

Jarrod saw Howard, with his rifle pointed directly at him. Howard was going to kill him. "I'm not here to stop you, Nick. I'm going with you."

And the three of them rode together slowly toward Howard and his men.

Howard fired a warning shot and yelled the warning, but it didn't stop the Barkley brothers for long. They were moving forward again in only a few seconds.

Jarrod knew Howard would put the next shot into him. He knew he'd be the first to fall here, and he prayed he'd be the only one to fall. His only hope was that if Howard took the shot at him and he went down, it would somehow stop this battle that was otherwise coming. It would only be fitting if he went down. He was the one who deserved to pay the price for this. He was the one who kept the secret and just about destroyed his family again. He was the one dying would matter the least to.

They kept moving forward. Jarrod kept expecting Howard to take the shot.

But suddenly a wagon came up the road. Everyone turned to look because there was a very small driver of the wagon. It was Davy Howard, the little kid who was suffering more than anyone because of his father's complete change of character, his father's rejection of him.

But Davy would have none of this anymore. He pulled the wagon to a stop between the Barkley men and his father. The Barkley brothers halted.

From where they stopped, Jarrod could only hear a few of Davy's words to his father, but the boy was adamant and loud enough that he heard him say, "You with a gun ready to shoot Uncle Jarrod! What's God got to do with that?!" and then a little later, "If you're my father you can't just stop being it, you just can't!"

And Howard melted. He drew Davy tight into him and gave the order to tear down the fence. His men took it down as he and Davy rode away together in the wagon.

"Get those critters to water!" Nick ordered, the cattle were driven forward, and the showdown was over.

Jarrod was left breathing again, and as he watched Howard and Davy ride away, he knew at least part of this disaster was over. The Howards would be all right. They would work this out, because Davy was too precious to each of them not to work it out.

Jarrod pulled to the side and watched his brothers and their men herd the cattle toward water. This part of the showdown was over, too. Now the only thing that remained was for him to find a way to repair the damage he'd done to his family, because of the secret he had to keep, because it was his job and it was his oath.

Jarrod turned Jingo and rode away, heading to his office in town. His brothers didn't notice he was gone until the herd was drinking the water it had been denied.

"He's blaming himself for all of this, you know," Heath said to Nick when they saw Jarrod was not with them.

Nick was casting his mind back over the past few days, and back over the years, and Heath could tell. The anger was still fierce in Nick's eyes. "And just how would he be wrong?"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Jarrod went to his office and did not come home until he knew Nick and Heath would be in from the range. He had thought a lot about what had been happening, and he made a decision that he did not want to announce more than once. If he had come home before they did, his mother would have questioned him until he caved in and changed his mind. He didn't want that to happen this time.

And they were all there when he came in the door, having drinks in the parlor before dinner. Jarrod took his hat and gunbelt to the rack in the hall. When he came into the parlor, they had all gone silent, and they all just looked at him.

He took a deep breath. "Well, everything's all right with the herd now?" he asked.

"All right with everything," Nick said, just staring at him, scowling. "Adam Howard has agreed to haul our fruit, and everything else has worked itself out. All in one day."

"And a little child shall lead them," Jarrod said.

"Uh-huh," Nick said.

"We still have a lot to discuss," Victoria said.

"I know," Jarrod said.

"Can you tell us why Adam started this mess in the first place, Jarrod?" Heath asked. There was less hostility in his voice than in Nick's or Victoria's, but he was still demanding answers.

Jarrod said, "No. I can't tell you. I may never be able to tell you."

"But it did have to do with you," Nick said.

Jarrod nodded.

Nick puffed up his chest. "My mind keeps going back to a certain night a couple years ago – "

"You don't have to remind me, Nick," Jarrod interrupted. "And yes, I've been thinking about that all day, too. That's why I'm a little late, so I could talk to you all at once."

"We decided years ago that we would not be allowing secrets to disrupt this family anymore," Victoria said.

Jarrod nodded. "I remember, but you all know what I do for a living. You all know I've taken an oath. I'm a professional secret keeper. So, before you throw me out – "

"No one's going to throw you out, Jarrod," Victoria interrupted him.

"Yes, someone is," Jarrod said. "I've made a decision. The only way I can keep my oath as a lawyer and keep my secrets from affecting this family is for me to leave."

They hadn't expected that. Jarrod could tell by the way they all suddenly shifted uncomfortably. He had completely disarmed them – and upset them.

But he had made his decision. "I'm moving permanently to San Francisco. It's not a perfect solution, but it makes it far less likely that any secrets I have to keep will affect all of you."

"Jarrod – " Victoria started.

"No," he said calmly, "you can't talk me out of it. I don't feel discarded. I don't feel abandoned. I feel like I'm doing the right thing."

"Jarrod, how are you going to do the legal work for the family – " Nick started.

"I talked to Steve Markham today. He's opened his own practice, you know, and he's good. He'll be able to do the family's work, and I'll cover the cost."

"And the woman who's been hiring people to kill us? What about finding her?" Heath asked.

Agatha Cromwell. Jarrod hadn't forgotten about the attempts on each of the Barkley men's lives over the past couple years. "Being in San Francisco might actually help with that. I haven't given up on it and I won't."

"No, Jarrod," Victoria said. "This is not acceptable."

"It's going to have to be," Jarrod said flatly. "I've thought long and hard about it, and it's something I should have done long ago. I'm still your brother – Mother, I'm still your son – but I won't live here anymore. It just won't work."

"There is another option," Victoria said. "You can retire from your legal career."

Jarrod felt his stomach drop. "Mother, how can you ask me to do that?"

That was all he said. That was all he needed to say. Victoria felt ashamed for even asking, but she was acting like a mother now who did not want her son to go away. But he had to leave. She knew that deep down. She just didn't want to accept it. But she had to.

Victoria got up from the settee and walked up to him. "This is always going to be your home, Jarrod."

He shook his head. "No. It's not possible anymore, Mother. If I don't leave now, this will happen again, and you will throw me out sooner or later. None of us wants that. Besides, over these past few years, it's not only the secrets that have hurt all of you. I've had my share of other problems I've foisted off on you too, and I can't do that anymore either. I thought that by refusing to take criminal cases unless there were special circumstances I'd fix the problem, but it's not fixed. I've made up my mind. I'm moving to San Francisco for good."

Nick looked the most distraught. "Jarrod, you've got to think harder about this. You've been – "

Jarrod held a hand up to cut him off. "Don't, Nick. Just accept what I've decided. Besides, you'll see me now and then. I'm not moving to the moon."

"You may as well be," Nick said.

Jarrod went to the refreshment table and poured himself some scotch. He looked hard at it – he really needed it. While his back was turned, he downed the shot in one gulp and gave himself a moment to get himself back together. He could never let them know how hard this was for him. He still had secrets to keep. He poured more scotch into his glass and turned around, raising it. "To the future," he said. "We all have one, you know."

"Not one I like very much," Heath said.

Jarrod gave him "the eye," that tip of the head that said he'd be looking at you over his glasses, if he wore glasses.

Heath gave in and raised his glass, and Victoria and Nick followed suit. But no one was enthusiastic about it.

XXXXXX

Jarrod was ready to leave a week later, after he had packed and shipped the things he wanted to take from the ranch and his office in town, which he had already closed. Breakfast that morning was quiet, everyone resigned but still not happy about his decision. Jarrod, however, was more than ready to move out, and move his family further out of harm's way.

After breakfast, the buggy was ready and waiting for him, with one of the hands assigned to drive him to town. That, too, was Jarrod's choice. He did not want any tearful scenes at the railroad station. If there were going to be any tears, they should be left here at the ranch.

Victoria, Nick and Heath did walk him out the door and to the buggy, however, and Victoria did let her tears flow. Jarrod gave her a warm hug that lasted quite a while, then a kiss on her forehead. Then he wiped her tears away for her. "You know that if you need me, I can be back here in a day," he said. "San Francisco is not that far away, and I'm already there half the time anyway."

"This is different," she said. "This time I feel like we're driving you away."

"Not so," he said quickly. "This is my choice. It's the right one."

"Make sure you write often. I need to know that you're all right."

"I will write." Jarrod then reached his hand out to Heath. "Brother Heath, you take good care of yourself, and don't let Nick kick you around too much."

Heath took his brother's hand warmly. "I'll keep him in line. You take care of yourself, Big Brother. And plan on having a houseguest every now and then. That trip to New York gave me a real taste for the city life."

Jarrod pulled Heath into an embrace and said quietly into his ear, "The day you came to us was the best day in the history of the Barkley family. I really mean that."

"I know you do," Heath said.

Jarrod then extended a hand to Nick. For Nick, it was immediately not enough. He pulled Jarrod into his arms and said, "I don't know how I'm gonna get along without you, Pappy."

"You'll be fine," Jarrod said. "I wouldn't leave if I thought you wouldn't be."

"But I can never be Pappy," he said quietly.

Jarrod pulled back and shook his head. ""You don't need to be. Just be Nick."

Then it was done. Jarrod pulled away and looked at them standing there together, more certain than ever that he was doing the right thing. As soon as Audra got home from her travels, the picture in his head would be complete. The four of them all together, and more important, safe. "Take care of each other," he said and fought the lump in his throat.

Then he quickly climbed into the buggy, and the driver took him away.

The End


End file.
